Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize