Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
