Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
