Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
