UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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