My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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