im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
