no, he came in my armpit
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
