I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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