fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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