like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
