First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
