Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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