Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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