im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
