careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
