the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
