she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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