I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
