And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
