She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
