She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
