that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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