My brain says no but my pants say off.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
