so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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