So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
