just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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