On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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