I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
