I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I will pee on everything he values.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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