He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
