You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
