farters have to be the big spoon...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
