That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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