So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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