Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
