And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i dont even know how to be here
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
