Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
