I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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