He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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