Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
