I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
please come you make the beer taste better
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
