And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
