Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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