i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Randomize
