woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
