11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
