I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
