why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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