I've blown a few things in my day
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
