Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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