So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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