and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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