he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
