so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
