i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
