Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
