i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
