Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how can u be prego again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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