yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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