Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I checked into jail on foursquare
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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