In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
we're so committed to being not committed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
