He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
