i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
