Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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