i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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